Yep,tomorrow is World Naked Gardening Day.And this gardener just cannot join in.
Nope,can’t bring myself to do it.
Here are my reasons…
1.I do enjoy getting down and dirty---wink-wink---but gardening is really dirty,and there are certain body parts of mine I prefer to not have in the dirt.
2.What if I weed eat?
3.Or trim the hedges with the electric trimmer?
4.Fire ants-what if I sat on a fire ant mound by mistake?
5.Mosquitoes- I don’t want certain body parts bitten…..at least,by a mosquito….Johnny Depp is another story,but I digress…..Plus,I think Deep Woods Off would burn.
6.If I didn’t have a t-shirt on,where would I wipe the sweat?And with what?
7.Sunburn.I don’t think I want to spray sun block on certain areas.And some of those areas…well,you get my drift….
8.What if the balloon people,that like to come over our lake,float by?Now,that would give them a treat they hadn’t counted on,wouldn’t it?Or a police helicopter?
9.We have Water Moccasins and Pygmy Rattlers.What if I got bitten? I wouldn’t want my dead,naked,cellulite ridden body to be found by EMS.The paramedics would fall over laughing.And how would my family explain that? “Oh,that’s just Gramma.She was always kinda weird that way….” I don’t think I want to be remembered that way.
10.I really,really,really don’t think my neighbors would like to see this body…..see #9….and,though,I may not care for a few,I wouldn’t do that to anyone.
How are you celebrating World Naked Gardening Day?
By the way,I shall not be celebrating World Naked Biking Day---ewww---,
or World Naked Hiking Day----you could really hurt yourself on this one---,
But,then,I’m just not a joiner…..