Yep,tomorrow is World Naked Gardening Day.And this gardener just cannot join in.
Nope,can’t bring myself to do it.
Why?
W..e..l..l……...
Here are my reasons…
1.I do enjoy getting down and dirty---wink-wink---but gardening is really dirty,and there are certain body parts of mine I prefer to not have in the dirt.
2.What if I weed eat?
3.Or trim the hedges with the electric trimmer?
4.Fire ants-what if I sat on a fire ant mound by mistake?
5.Mosquitoes- I don’t want certain body parts bitten…..at least,by a mosquito….Johnny Depp is another story,but I digress…..Plus,I think Deep Woods Off would burn.
6.If I didn’t have a t-shirt on,where would I wipe the sweat?And with what?
7.Sunburn.I don’t think I want to spray sun block on certain areas.And some of those areas…well,you get my drift….
8.What if the balloon people,that like to come over our lake,float by?Now,that would give them a treat they hadn’t counted on,wouldn’t it?Or a police helicopter?
9.We have Water Moccasins and Pygmy Rattlers.What if I got bitten? I wouldn’t want my dead,naked,cellulite ridden body to be found by EMS.The paramedics would fall over laughing.And how would my family explain that? “Oh,that’s just Gramma.She was always kinda weird that way….” I don’t think I want to be remembered that way.
10.I really,really,really don’t think my neighbors would like to see this body…..see #9….and,though,I may not care for a few,I wouldn’t do that to anyone.
Sooooo……
How are you celebrating World Naked Gardening Day?
By the way,I shall not be celebrating World Naked Biking Day---ewww---,
or World Naked Hiking Day----you could really hurt yourself on this one---,
either.
But,then,I’m just not a joiner…..
5 comments:
I am going to have to buy more suntan lotion for tomorrow's festivities in the garden! Ooops, you missed a spot.
Cars that should drive on by would end up driving in my pond if I were in the front yard scaring them with my nakedness. I think I'll skip this one, too. Besides, I'm sure it would deeply scar one or more of my children.
Compost-I could ay something about that suntan lotion and your missing spot,but I won't......
Gayle-outside of scarring our kids,it's COLD where your are!That would be enough to stop me.
HA! I won't be attending for similar reasons!!!! **happy gardening** Deb
So funny, but very good reasons for non-participation. I'm laughed at enough for my orange gardening clogs.
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