Everyday,an EPC inspector is out here to make sure things are going according to their plan.Today,was eye opening as to how their minds work.Or don’t….
Inspector-“We’re going to replace that one Florida Maple with 3.”
Inspector-“Because we have to restore the area to its previous state.”
Me-“W--e--l--l,I was hoping we could plant something more friendly than that.Sort of like Louisiana Iris or maybe Sweet Flag.”
Inspector-“NO.It must be a maple.”
Inspector-“Because that was what was here before,and it must be replaced by the same thing.”
Inspector-“Because that is the rule.Oh,I have been made aware that you have requested that we don’t put sod in this area.That you intend to put a vegetable garden here?”
Me-“Yes.There was a garden here,previously,but it was only ornamentals.We intend to enlarge our vegetable garden with raised beds.If you have to restore to the previous condition,there was a garden here,so,shouldn’t it be another garden?”
Inspector-“I’m sorry,but we require that sod be put down.We cannot have run-off into the lake.Just in case you might use fertilizers or insecticides.Ma’am,I’m sure you understand.And I noticed from the photos that were taken that there was no garden here.Just some weeds.”
Oh he sooo lost me at Ma’am! Insecticides!Fertilizers!We haven’t watered our grass in 35 years!Grass is a friggin’ weed,fer Gawd’s sake!And we have never,ever used insecticides in our gardens!
Me-“Huh?I transplanted everything 3 years ago,because the county told us they were ready to start.We kept the weeds mowed down just because we couldn’t stand looking at them.”
My frustration is building …..
Inspector-“Ma’am,we have regulations we must abide by.I’m sure you understand.”
Me-“Well,if I must have a tree,could I have a Magnolia?That is on your approved list.I checked.”
Inspector-“I’ll check with my supervisor.”
Me(gritting my teeth)-“Please do.Let me know.”
After he left,YardBoy says,”Let him do what he wants.After he does his final inspection,we’ll just remove the sod,enlarge the vegetable garden,remove his stupid(actually he said ‘damn’) maple and plant a magnolia or the irises or whatever.”
I think I heart YardBoy. I think he gets me……
So,now,we are at this stage…..
YardBoy is still hoping they leave the keys in the ignition………